As I watch the live stream of the United Methodist Church General Conference and deal with some issues of conflict in my local church, I am thinking about healthy environments and toxic environments.
A healthy environment is one where love flourishes and growth happens. It is always so great to see that my granddaughter is being raised in such a loving and healthy home. But sometimes, if a child is in an unhealthy home environment, there can be a failure to thrive. We have agencies that step in and intervene, depending on how unhealthy those environments are. Sometimes boundaries have to be set up so that no more harm is done.
Churches are interesting places, because not only do we not like to deal with conflict, we don’t even like to talk about it or admit that it exists. No one wants to believe that theirs has become a toxic environment. And rarely is the whole environment toxic. There can be places of love and fruitfulness, as well as pockets of conflict and division. Unfortunately, even a little pocket can pollute the whole environment.
Christians frequently have misguided beliefs about how we are supposed to deal with disagreement. We tend to think that everyone should flourish in love, like they would in a healthy environment, but fail to take into consideration how difficult this is when the environment has grown toxic. People behave much differently in a healthy environment than in a toxic one.
The Council of Bishops were asked to meet last night to propose a way forward on issues of human sexuality in a General Conference environment that has grown toxic. While General Conference is experiencing some very healthy environments of worship and prayer, it seems that as soon as the business meeting portion begins, the tone changes. The Bishops recommended that we take a breath; to appoint a special commission to discuss these issues and hold a conference on them at a later date.
They are suggesting that we put a boundary in place to keep more harm from being done, then at a later time, in a healthier environment, try again to find some common ground. After all, our first general rule is to do no harm.
In our personal relationships, we sometimes find that when we have survived a conflict together, we grow closer. But, that doesn’t usually happen until a lot of work has been done, which sometimes takes a long time. It is my hope and prayer that our church will come through all of our conflicts and continue to thrive in those loving and healthy environments.
God in the City 